No Stranger to Foreigner or... I Don't Want to Live Without You!!

If, like me, you spent many of your youthful twilight hours falling in love and angsting over lost love while immersing yourself in Foreigner, here's a great treat. In case you didn't know, on July 15th, Foreigner and Rhino Records released NO END IN SIGHT: THE VERY BEST OF FOREIGNER, a comprehensive hits collection (32-song, two-disc set) that includes both live songs and a previously unreleased track called ‘Too Late’. And to make things even better, the band will be on a co-headlining summer tour with Bryan Adams that began in July and continues throughout the summer. (Just remember, no more Bic Flics...iconic stadium salutes are now made by holding up the illumited faces of cell phones! At least you won't burn your fingers in your 50's!)

A constant fixture on the radio and the charts throughout the '70s and '80s, Foreigner has sold more than 70 million albums worldwide. Described as a "fist-pumping romp through the band's music (1977-present), from hard rocking early hits ("Cold As Ice," "Double Vision," "Hot Blooded" "Feels Like The First Time") and classic cuts ("I Want To Know What Love Is", "Dirty White Boy," "Head Games," "Urgent") to later gems. In addition to the parade of hits, the collection is bolstered with a new recording, "Too Late," and a new acoustic version of "Say You Will," as well as recent in-concert recordings of "Starrider" and the medley "Juke Box Hero/Whole Lotta Love."

To bring the 80's to the new millenium, you can also join "listening parties" by following the links and getting to hear this great band online. Here are the listening party links:
Real http://rhino.edgeboss.net/real/rhino/listeningparties/512130/512130_apex.smi
QT http://rhino.edgeboss.net/qtime/rhino/listeningparties/512130/512130_apex.mov
WMA http://rhino.edgeboss.net/wmedia/rhino/listeningparties/512130/512130_apex.wax

And for you die-hard fans who want to introduce your echo-boomers to Foreigner, here are the tour dates and links to the official site http://www.foreigneronline.com/ AND official mySpace http://www.myspace.com/foreignermusic

NO END IN SIGHT: THE VERY BEST OF FOREIGNER
Disc 1
1. Feels Like The First Time
2. Long, Long Way From Home
3. Cold As Ice
4. Headknocker
5. Starrider
6. Double Vision
7. Blue Morning, Blue Day
8. Hot Blooded
9. Dirty White Boy
10. Head Games
11. Women
12. Night Life
13. Break It Up
14. Juke Box Hero
15. Urgent
16. Waiting For A Girl Like You

Disc 2
1. Too Late (New Recording) *
2. Say You Will (Acoustic) *
3. Starrider (Live) *
4. Juke Box Hero/Whole Lotta Love (Live) *
5. I Want To Know What Love Is
6. Down On Love
7. Reaction To Action
8. That Was Yesterday
9. Say You Will
10. I Don't Want To Live Without You
11. Can't Wait
12. Tooth And Nail
13. Heart Turns To Stone
14. Lowdown and Dirty
15. I'll Fight For You
16. Until The End Of Time
* New Recording

SUMMER TOUR DATES
JULY
On-going tour dates...
26 Dallas, TX**
29 Clearfield, PA
30 Glen Allen, VA
31 Myrtle Beach, SC
**With Bryan Adams

AUGUST
2 Los Angeles, CA
12 Missouri State Fair
16 Erie, PA
22 Detroit, MI
23 Baraboo, WI
24 Chicago, IL
28 Baltimore, MD
29 Woodstock, VA
30 Atlantic City, NJ
31 Jackson, NJ

Gotta find my Bic Flic....

What do Halloween, Love Search and Job Search All Have in Common?

Boo! They are all scary. So it seems most appropriate to make some parallels between a search for "Mr. or Mrs. Right" and the search for "The Ultimate Job" on this scariest day of the year...Halloween!

On one of my other blogs, Love for Boomers and 50 Plus, I posted on online dating and the sheer terror that many of us feel putting ourselves on the market for love.

"One of my ventures, Gen Plus Singles, is an online dating service, niched to 50 plus. Interestingly, women (who, incidentally, men are TRYING to find) will happily put up their profiles and browse amongst the men, but are incredibly tentative about actually signing up so they can email a fella. Men, on the other hand, are bold. They know what they want, they see it, they sign up, they email. If the woman doesn't write back, they move on to the next woman. So I always wonder, what is it about women (and, yes, I'm one) that makes us so fearful of putting OUR best foot forward? "

Well this got me thinking about the parallels between online dating and job search. About 1/2 of all jobseekers search for work online. (I wonder if 1/2 of loveseekers also search online.) And just as with online dating, it can often be a numbers game. The more resumes you send out, the more jobs you apply for, the better the odds of getting a call. Just as great jobs attract hundreds of resumes, great online profiles also attract many interested potential daters.

So, from my own experience, here is my approach to becoming less fearful in both online dating and online job search.

1) Have a great resume. Just as your online dating profile needs a good photo, a great smile and some compelling description of who you are, your resume needs to function as a good photo, great smile and a compelling description of your career accomplishments.

2) No one wants a fuddy-duddy. Take a look at online dating profiles. Haircut from the '80's? Pass. Glasses from the '70's? Pass. If your resume is simply an updated version of your jobs since 1982, then you are on the wrong track. The new format includes:

• punchy, active, dynamic descriptors
• results of accomplishments (not just responsibilities)
• impactful action words
• bullet points

3) You need quantity to get quality. If you only email once potential love match, your odds of getting a reply are very, very low. If you email 25 interesting candidates, someone will likely write you back and you may end up on a date!

Ditto for job search. If you are on a targeted job search (i.e. you need a new job...now), then you must apply for as many jobs as fit your talents. Look above the box, under the box, beside the box...but look out of the box. Just as you can't really tell the quality of the person from a picture, you can't tell a company from its job description. If you think there might be a fit?....well....there might be.

Again, from my previous post:

"Anytime I've online dated, the only true successes I've had is when I've paid for a membership, searched for the men I liked, and then emailed and emailed until I heard back from the ones I was interested in. Just as men prefer to choose, I prefer to choose. So, if you've been sitting on the fence (and this is for the men, too!), getting bored on your Saturday nights, take a gamble. Put your money where your mouth is, and start emailing. You won't know if you don't try. "

The scariest part of job search or love search is getting started. So get cracking. Fix up your profiles, show the world the best of yourself and say "Boo!" to the ghosts of Halloween!

THAT time of year...

If you are a single and working (or single and NOT working), then this may be the time of year that you dread...the holiday party season.

Hallowe'en to Thanksgiving to Christmas and Chanukah to New Year's...if you are alone, then this can be a torturous time of year. There are parties at friends, Hallowe'en invites, parties at work, New Year's Eve celebrations -- you name it...another reason to curl up on the sofa with a bag of chocolate chip cookies, a comforter and a good book or movie. I'm not married, but when I was, there was the pressure of all the festivities but in more of a performance anxiety way (but that is fodder for another post.)

Wallowing in self-pity never works -- hasn't worked for me and I'm sure it won't work for you. And there are several ways to move around the game. You can avoid or you can join. So let's talk about both options.

There is passive avoidance -- doing nothing (the curl up with cookies/book deal), but that is always so last minute that it can devolve into self-pity.

I'd choose the route of active avoidance. A couple of years ago, a good friend invited me to join her and her son for a family winter camp...that ran over New Year's Eve. Initially I resisted, thinking I wouldn't be able to bear being at a New Year's Eve party with having no one to kiss at midnight. But she convinced me that we'd hang out together and enjoy a bottle of wine withour kids.

It was a FANTASTIC idea. I went, had a wonderful time, went to sleep at 9 pm on New Year's Eve with nary a tear of self-pity within 50 miles of the place. That is active avoidance.Then there is the join in strategy, which involves a high level of proactivity starting now. You pull up your socks, get some good pics of yourself, some top notch copy, and start online dating. There are many sites out there, so make the investment of a couple of bucks and start dating. If you date aggressively for the next month, you'll have a date with a decent person (even if not the love of your life, you might be tempted to go for a NYE kiss) who will also be grateful to have someone to hang out over the holidays with. If you are over 50, I'll recommend my brand, www.genplussingles.com. Jewish? www.jdate.com Quick return on investment? www.match.com Slower process? www.eharmony.com

Keep on your toes to avoid the married guys and gals who don't disclose their status. And if you find red flags, move on to the next one. Have fun and let me know how you do. I really want to hear proactive avoidance suggestions!!!

Fireworks, page rank and reading glasses?

There is something about the notion of being in love on July 4th that just tickles my fancy. It may have to do with high school summers and kissing under the fireworks (except it was Canada, so that meant it was July 1st, not July 4th, and our local fireworks weren't as spectacular as what I'm come to associate with July 4th in LA...but I digress...)

So, I decided to do a Google search. If there would be any one place that I could find love on July the 4th, surely Google would direct me there. There were 11,700,000 references that came up under the search words: finding love on the 4th of July.

So I decided I'd better narrow it down a bit by adding quotation marks.

"Finding love" on July 4th -- gave me 22,700 -- a bit better odds of finding love.

So I thought I'd take it one step further.

I ran "Finding love" on July 4th at 50 plus.

That took it down to 775 references -- with my blog being the number 1 reference. I thought that was pretty funny. So I dug in deeper.

I ran the words "Finding love" on July 4th for 50 plus singles. 712 references. My blog, the #1 spot. (To be honest, Gen Plus does have a singles site, but I would not call myself a matchmaker by trade. A romantic? Yes. Matchmaker? No.)

So I decided to be really, really specific.

I used the words "Finding love at 50 plus" and took out July 4th.

Only 1 link came up. Mine. Gen Plus.

From almost 12 million down to 1? My blog has a strong page rank, but honestly, I wasn't finding this so funny anymore.

I like love...just like the next gal (or fella). I like cuddling up and watching the fireworks reflect in my man's eyes. So what if I need reading glasses to see them? So what if half a century has gone by? Doesn't a 50 plusser still rank to find love? I was feeling a bit insulted.

Now either 50 plussers are not looking for love online (which I know they are), or they are not FINDING it. So...time for just one more search. I put my glasses back on and this time, I decided to go for the kissing and forget about the fireworks.

So I plugged in "kissing" at 50 plus. Thank goodness. 2,040,000 references. OK. I realize where I erred. Maybe the message is that we should stop worrying about finding the love and just enjoy the fireworks?

Where are 50 plussers looking for love?

One of the services we offer at Gen Plus is a 50 plus online dating service, Gen Plus Singles. I rarely post on this feature, but just the other day, as I was looking at my membership demographics, I noted there were some areas of the country that were much more active in their dating search than others. Not sure why I think you'd find this interesting (I've only included areas with higher than 2% of the membership), but just in case, here you go:

US-California 11%
US-Texas 9%
US-Georgia 7%
US-Florida 6%
US-Indiana 6%
United Kingdom 6%
US-New York 6%
US-Illinois 6%
US-Massachusetts 3%
US-Pennsylvania 3%
US-Washington 3%
Canada-Ontario 3%
US-Alabama 2%
US-Colorado 2%
US-Connecticut 2%
US-Kansas 2%
US-Michigan 2%
US-Missouri 2%
US-Virginia 2%
Canada-Alberta 2%
Canada-British Columbia 2%

Spring is in the Air...What about Love?

I usually post on topics related to employment, but, heck, I'm a sucker for love. And ever since I first felt the rush of Spring, my mind has turned to romance and love. If you have a significant other (that you like!), I'm so happy for you. But, if like many of us, you are a single boomie, couple wannabe, head on over to our love section on Gen Plus or directly to Gen Plus Singles and find out if romance is waiting for you this spring.

OK. I know. At 50 plus, spring has already sprung at least once! But when the spring flowers push up from the ground, it might be nice to have a loving relationship around. Happy Spring! Have fun.

Cupid's Arrow?

One of my favorite columnists, Anne Fisher (Senior writer for Fortune), pens a great column today on office romance and some statistical findings from several good sources. For more on love (or lust) in the workplace, check out today's article: Cupid at work: 3 tips for office romances

I particularly like Fisher's writing because she takes complicated financial issues and is able to bring them to the reader in laymen's terms and a lot of what she writes about is relevant to the 50 plus demographic. If you subscribe to her newsletter, you'll find it worth your read.

Over 50 and Single? Take a few minutes for yourself!

Guest writer, Dee Frazier, Author of "Dating 101, Second, Third or Fourth Time Around" sends this article for our subscribers. And FYI, Dee has been featured on the Today Show as part of their “Finding Love After 40” series. She shares hundreds of tips, ideas, stories and antidotes to make the 45+ dating experience fabulous. Learn more through her website at www.theuniversityofdating.com. Let me know what you think!

SECRETS TO OVERCOMING THE GROWN-UP DATING DAZE!

by Dee Frazier

Are you wading around in the dating pool? Are you clueless of what the new rules are and bogged down with fear? Hesitating because the dating game has changed dramatically since you were in your 20s?

Sooner or later­ if you truly desire a relationship ­ you must jump in. Make a big splash. When you decide that you are ready to play the dating game, look at it as an adventure.

The grown-up dating game has never been more interesting and challenging. There are more players than ever before. Why? Because of higher divorce rates, longer life spans, and a greater tendency to never marry. This contributes to more single Americans than at any other time in our country's history.

The U.S. Census Bureau tells us that of the 97 million Americans who are 45 or older, almost 40 percent ­ 36.2 million­ are available singles. There is no shame in being single.

So here are five steps to cut through the confusion, eliminate the fear and re-define your experience of dating and being single as a journey of fun and learning that “It’s just a date – not the rest of your life.”

1. Pay attention to YOU

Learn what you need to be fulfilled as an individual. Focus on YOU! Think about how you are being when you are with yourself. Self inquire! Practice extreme self-care. Get buffed up!

Avoid gender bashing. If you have the state of mind that the opposite sex “did you wrong,” it will probably keep you immobilized and unable to have fun as a single person. Keep yourself from saying those things and eventually you will stop thinking them. One of the worst dates I have ever had was with a person who talked non-stop about how his ex-wife “took him to the cleaners.”

Unclutter your life. Realize that the clutter on the outside represents the clutter inside and that also means to get rid of the human vampires. Avoid contact with people who are energy drains.

Learn to say no. It's the first word you learned when you were two. Use it! It's your lifetime resource and you have the right to use it as you see fit, without comments from the peanut galley.

Take time for YOU. Time is short for all of us. Make a decision to set aside downtime that is just for you, even if you can only start with fifteen minutes a day.

2. Learn Self-acceptance.

Get off your own back! One of the good things about getting older is that you “have less to lose” and “much less to learn the hard way.” You won’t always do it right, but who cares. Confidence comes with self-acceptance. No more excuses about who you are and what you have done. Say: “I am here and I am glad and proud to be who I am.” Oh, by the way, being self-assured and self confident is very SEXY!

3. Learn to Flirt.

Effective flirting is simply a way to let people know that you noticed them and want to get to know them. Nothing more and nothing less. Keep it light and keep it fun. The most effective flirting always includes a smile and eye contact.

Flirting is a fun activity that everyone should engage in from time to time and thoroughly enjoy. When you take the fun out of flirting, it becomes a high-stress situation that has nothing to do with enjoying yourself. Keep it low pressure, just like dating. Flirting should be all fun and games.

4. Dump the excuses for not getting out.

• Aren’t you sick of saying the same old thing anyway?
• I’m too busy.
• I am waiting for the right person.
• The good ones are all married.
• All men/women are jerks.
• I can’t do this to the children.
• They’re all losers.
• It’s going to be a disaster.
• I’m not ready.
• No one will like me.
• I’ve been hurt too many times before.

Get off the couch and into life. I know it’s not easy, but once you try, it becomes easier. You will be amazed at what you find out there . . . yourself! Let me be the first to tell you . . . you won’t always do it right. So WHAT!?

5. Be the date you want to have.

Be interested and interesting. Be honest about who you are. No date masks, be compassionate and LISTEN!

Smile and keep smiling. Laugh and keep laughing. Find things that are funny and that make you laugh, like books and movies. You won’t find a happy person unless you become happy first.

Unless you develop a strong sense of self, the people who show up for dates will be like you. You want light? BE the light!

Commit to living each day with an open heart, and to enjoy the second half of your life. Rethink and reexamine your former beliefs, and know that you can have a joyous and fulfilling life no matter where you are in the process and always remember:

“It’s just a date – not the rest of your life.”

The Pill 2

Once upon a time, there was a pill. It was called the birth control pill. And there was a sexual revolution.

It turned the 1950's on its head. Free love, free sex, lotsa love, lotsa sex.

Fast forward to today's once upon a time. There was a pill. It was called Viagra. It was blue. And there was a new kind of sexual revolution.

Men in their 50's and 60's and 70's have rediscovered their freedom of the 1960's, their virility, their ability to spread their seed. Women in this same age group are still recovering their footing. They had gotten used to lack of sex -- a good thing for some of them and not such a good thing for the rest.

Renewed vigor doesn't translate into renewed freedom...many of them aren't prepared to take the risk of their husbands/boyfriends having a heart attack. So many of the men have started a wonderin'. And then they have started a wanderin'. Divorcing and dating. Younger women and sometimes not so much younger.

To be a single woman in her 50's, 60's or 70's and dating means that likely the man she dates will boldly want to recapture their virility and try the little blue pill. It's a predicament that many of the women aren't prepared for and aren't sure they want to risk. For a man in his 50's, 60's or 70's, the little blue pill has given him a reason to want to start dating again. It has created a complex new dance, a new game, new dangers to boot.

Successful internet sites cater to 50-plus online dating. Men and women are challenging their fears.


The new revolution. It has caused an entire generation...the same group that loved in the 1960's to attempt to redefine their lives in the 2000's.

Finding love at 50 plus

Today, as I was sitting in LA traffic, thinking about the lifecycle of the person and the correlation to the lifecycle of business (more on that for a later post), my thoughts wandered off to internet dating, especially interesting for me as I market my sister site targeting 50 plus, GenPlusSingles.com (direct access and linked through Genplususa.com.)

First of all, I have a very long commute -- over an hour and change each way on a good day -- so I have an unusually long time to ponder many different topics. Politics, employment challenges looming on the horizon, the US consumer economy, love. So, today, my thoughts centered on internet dating. There is no dispute that the internet has changed the way information flows, is gathered, is questionned, is believed. However, for the younger demographics, internet is what Encyclopedia Brittanica was to my generation growing up.

For the Gen X and Gen Y'ers, the internet and the concept of internet chatting and dating is a given. But for the 50 - 75 age demographic, internet dating is...well, just darn intimidating.

Sidebar: I only learned WordPerfect 4.0 in 1990. I learned how to use a computer by becoming a "Kelly Girl." Signing up as a temp with Kelly, meant that you could take a tutorial on WordPerfect. Needless to say, I passed with flying colors. Needless to say, they didn't teach me how to turn on the computer, pull up or save a file, or basic formatting! Needless to say, my first job as a temp ended abruptly after it took me a full day to type a document and then turn off the computer without saving the file.

Visit any current internet dating site -- from Match.com, to JDate.com...even to my own Gen Plus Singles. Leaping from demographic to demographic, the 20-somethings looking for online love number in the multi-millions, the 30-somethings follow close behind. Pickings get slimmer...significantly slimmer for 40-somethings, and for 50-somethings...well, it becomes challenging.

Even as the older demographic is USING the internet far more, it is not their preferred resource for meeting a love match. They are wary of posting pictures online, unsure as to internet protocol, and the toughest part is that they lack the self-confidence of youth. If you are visiting this blog, it is either because you are 50 plus or because you have a parent who is. In any event, I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on the challenges facing 50 plus daters...your stories, your laughs, your successes.